


Kids and Kidnappers

by fivesumbrella



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Awkwardness, Blood and Injury, Family Bonding, Flirting, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, The Author Regrets Everything, Violence, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 21:45:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18269885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fivesumbrella/pseuds/fivesumbrella
Summary: Five stood up, careful not to make any noise. He gently pushed the door open. It creaked."Shh, you idiot, they'll hear us." A women whispered.Sounded way too familiar."We just have to get the boy, and interrogate him."Interrogate him? That was unusual."What if he doesn't even know anything?" A man replied. "Maybe he didn't even see Number 5. It's the middle of the night, we're just wasting our time!"Oh.OrIn which Five is both a genius and a dumbass, Cha-Cha and Hazel don't know that they kidnapped exactly who they were searching for, and Five's sharp tongue isn't appreciated by any of them.[I'm shit at summaries but give it a try, it's got lot's of Five whump]





	Kids and Kidnappers

**Author's Note:**

> This gets better as it goes, i promise. Also, I don't know if you've noticed but I can only write two (2) characters : Diego and Five, so i guess you're just gonna have to deal with all the Five & Diego bonding.
> 
> English is NOT my first language, so if you see any typos, or grammar mistakes, please let me know!
> 
> A few things about this AU:  
> -Patch lives  
> -Diego goes investigating with Patch because Five's not drunk and they don't find him, so he's there when Patch calls.
> 
> That's it, enjoy!! :3

This wasn't a great idea.

Five wasn't often wrong, but this was one of those rare occasions.

But let's just start from the beginning.

That fight at the diner exhausted both him and his powers. Vanya's apartment was nice, her bed soft and nice. Warm and welcoming, just like his sister, but after sleeping on the ground for so long, sleeping on it felt more like drowning.

So, he laid on Vanya's old carpet, staring at the ceiling.

He shouldn't sleep. He was supposed to, you know, _stop the fucking apocalypse_ , but he was _so_ tired. His eyelids were getting heavier, and he felt like he couldn't move his body if he wanted to. He closed his eyes, and relaxed.

That's when he heard a noise in the kitchen, like someone knocked over one of Vanya's pretty vases, and whispers.

He stood up, careful not to make any noise. He gently pushed the door open. It creaked.

"Shh, you idiot, they'll hear us." A women whispered.

Sounded way too familiar.

"We just have to get the boy, and interrogate him."

Interrogate him? That was unusual.

"What if he doesn't even know anything?" A man replied. "Maybe he didn't even see Number 5. It's the middle of the night, we're just wasting our time!"

Oh, they thought he was just a witness. He could actually work this to his advantege. Just lead them the absolute wrong way and escape. Easy.

"Stop bitching!" The woman hissed.

He stepped out of the room, only then realising that he was practically defenseless. He couldn't teleport, he tried, but he had to walk all the way here from the diner. He also had no weapons on him, except for that one knife he stole from the diner.

Whatever, he just has to let them take him anyway.

It was dark, but he could see two shadows about to enter Vanya's room.

Oh, no.

"Hey!"

The two turned around.

He knew who they were. Hazel and Cha-Cha, assassins at the Comission. They were professional and deadly and they couldn't care less about the body bags they left behind.

"Oh, there you are." Hazel whispered creepily. Five's skin crawled. "Is your mum in there?" He gestured towards the door.

Fibe bit down his cheek. He had to act scared. So he swallowed and nodded.

"Wouldn't want her to get hurt, right?" Hazel showed off his gun.

Five shook his head.

"Then come with us, and answer some questions."

He hesitated (because everyone would).

Cha-cha pointed her gun at him. "Or we could just kill both of right now."

So he followed them, and stood still while they knocked him out (even though he saw the blow coming from miles away.)

...

Five opened his eyes.

Wait, it was still dark. He blinked, trying to clear his vision. His head felt like exploding. He felt something drip down on his forehead.

He tried to move his hand to touch it, but he couldn't. He looked down.

His arms were tied to a chair.

Oh, that's right, he remembered now. He was kidnapped.

Five looked around, his vision less blurry now and frowned.

He was in a shitty motel room. He assumed they were gonna take him to an empty warehouse, or an abandoned building or something. Who the fuck takes their hostages to a motel room, where the sound-proofing is awful, at best?

He felt something warm on his back, probably sunlight. He assumed his back was facing the windows.

Hazel and Cha-cha were nowhere to be seen. Now he had the time to prepare what he was going to say.

Or not. He heard the door open behind him. Shit.

"Wakey, wakey!" That was Cha-Cha. He heard light steps walk towards him. Cha-Cha smacked him in the back of his head.

He didn't hear Hazel follow her. Maybe it was because his ears were ringing,but he was pretty sure that he was alone with Cha-Cha. Oh how he wished, he'd never have to say this sentence again.

The woman stepped in front of him. He stared at him for a second and punched him hard in the face.

Five almost forgot to act like a scared little kid, and almost scoffed. Instead he inhaled sharply. "I-I'll talk!" He said, trying to sound as desperate as his pride endured.

Apparently, it didn't really touch Cha-Cha, because she snorted. "Oh, you'll talk alright."

Five scanned the woman. She was angry for some reason, maybe it had to do with why Hazel wasn't there.

She smiled evilly. "After I beat the shit out of you."

She punched him, once, twice, 20 times, he lost count. He only knew that his face was bleeding, his lip was split, his shoulders were aching, and he could practically _feel_ the bruises forming all over his upper body.

He just had to bear it, to finally get them off his back. Didn't make it hurt less.

He gasped, trying to catch his breath, preparing himself for the next blow.

The door opened behind him, once again.

"What is wrong with you? You could have blown our cover. I had to explain to Agnes everything. You're lucky I was trained to lie." Hazel said, stepping into the tiny hotel room.

Annnnd, the blow landed.

Five hissed.

"Yeah, that bitch the reason I fucked the place up in the first place" Cha-Cha looked at her partner viciously.

Hazel decided not to comment on that, instead, he took a step forward, trying to get a better look at their hostage.

Five clenched his jaw. Oh, how he fucking _hated_ being stared at. He couldn't help himself. "The fuck you looking at?"

Cha-Cha slapped him across the face.

"He ain't talkin'?" Hazel asked, unfazed by Five's remark.

"Didn't ask any questions."

Hazel eyed his partner. "How about we stay professional, and do our job. The Commission said try not to attract any attention, so a missing kid is not the brightest idea."

Hazel frowned. "Since when d'you care bout your job. I thought you were gonna run off with your bitch." Cha-Cha spat.

Hazel glared at her, but said nothing. Then he looked at Five. "So, you ready to talk?"

Five nodded.

"What did you see when you were in the diner?"

Five swallowed. He tried not to show that he was panicking, in fact. He had no idea what he was going to say.

 _Shit_.

The two assassins must have seen his hesitation, because the next thing he knew, Cha-Cha was yanking his hair.

Five glared at her

"Talk, you little brat!"

"I'm trying to remember!" He hissed.

"Then remember faster!"

Five glared at her. "You seem to have an awful lot of time, torturing teenagers as a hobbie" he knew full well, that it was work for them, didn't really care though.

This time, Hazel was the one who punched him. "It's our job."

Five was too tired to hold his remarks back. "Congratulations. Your parents must be _so_ proud." He said sarcastically.

Cha-Cha flashed her knife. "Your mama's gon be dead of you don't stop talkin soon."

"Well, _I'm_ not the one who beat the shit out of their hostage, because they little _feelings_ were hurt." Five spat. He probably shouldn't have said that.

Seeing Cha-Cha absolutely enraged he was sure that it was unwise.

Cha-Cha's eyes flashed with pure anger, and Five could swear she was going to stab his hand with her knife, if it wasn't for the whooshing sound that was heard from the fridge's direction.

Hazel and Cha-cha shared a look, and Hazel went to look at it. He opened the can (Five knew full well what it was), and looked at the message inside. Hazel hummed.

"Some small gig. A chick messed up the timeline - again. We're the closest."

Cha-Cha nodded. "How bout you do that, and I'll deal with this little shit."

"Okay, but go easy on him, we don't want to fuck up the timeline."

She looked over at Five. "We'll see."

Oh, how Five wished he could teleport.

He should have just kept his mouth shut.

 _Focus, Five_.

No matter how much his vision blurred, and how much his body ached, _he had to focus_.

Hazel shut the door, and Cha-Cha's attention was focused on him once again. "I'll give you one (1) chance you brat, talk, or I'll make you talk." She gripped the back of his chair, and leaning so close to Five, he could feel her breath on the tip of his nose. "What happened at the diner?"

Five pressed against his chair. Pain shot through his body, and his winced. He almost forgot that his whole body was aching. Almost.

_Keep it together._

His discomfort didn't really bother Cha-Cha, but seemed to be enjoying this postion, and snarled, showing her shark-like teeth. It made Five's skin crawl.

"I went to the diner because I was fighting with my fa- my mom." he started. He felt himself sweating more, not that it was hot, it was rather chilly, and his breath felt cold, but under the gaze of Cha-Cha, he couldn't help it.

"I-I sat down beside this guy, older guy, and I ordered." Five started. He tried to stick to the truth as much as he could, to make his story more realistic. Though it was a bit hard to remember the details, because he felt like his head was going to explode in a minute.

"The waitress, went to the back, and the guy and I talked a bit. And then this older guy came in, and he sat down. He was around 60 i think.. he was uh, bald, and had blue eyes, or green.." Five pretended to think for a bit. "Blue."

Cha-Cha raised an eyebrow.

"The other guy left, and we made small talk. He said he had some, uh.. business in two towns from here." He lied. "And then my mom called, she was worried, so uh, I went back to the house to sort things out. When I left I heard gunshots faintly.. I thought it was nothing, or I was hallucinating or something, until I saw the news the next morning." Five looked down, petting himself on the back in his head. He always was an amazing liar. Too bad good ol' Reggie didn't appreciate his talent.

Cha-Cha let go of the chair and stepped back, satisfied smirk on her face. "Was that too hard, brat?"

He thought about a possible reply, but he shut his mouth instead.

Cha-Cha's smile dropped. "Watchu smiling bout, boy?"

Five shook his head. "Nothing."

He didn't want any more trouble. He was too tired for another beating, he didn't feel his legs, the dried blood was making his skin itch, and God, everything hurt.

"So, will you let me go?" Five asked, no real hope behind his words. He knew he was going to have to rescue himself, but this was not the right moment.

Cha-Cha let out a humourless laugh."You really didn't think that-" she wheezed. "You are a naive little boy, aren't you?"

Now, that made Five grit his teeth, because a, he wasn't a fucking little boy and b,he was anything but naive. God, he wished he was naive. Naive people were lucky. Five knew that knowledge was sometimes a curse, the more you know, the less you trust. Five couldn't even trust his own family blindly, no matter how much he wanted to. Because if they were anything like him, they weren't worth his trust.

He forced himself to trust anyway, because he loved them.

He killed so many people, just so he could save them, during the time he worked for The Comission and while he knew, that the job would have been done with or without him, no cold water could wash off the blood on his hands now.

"Oh, did I hit a nerve?" Cha-Cha's sharp voice cut off his train of thought. "Here's what's gonna happen. Normally, I would make this shit quick, but I don't appreciate you talkin back." Her voice was suprisingly calm, but had the same edge as if she was screaming.

She lighted a cigarette. "And I haven't heard screams in almost a week."

Five blinked. He felt panic rise up in his chest. This wasn't the plan. He was supposed to escape quickly, after he talked, and if she was trying to kill him, then teleport away. He didn't want to be stuck with this woman any longer, and waste more time (also, he didn't want to get tortured, but that's not important). What was he supposed to do now?

He took a smell of the cigarette smoke. He coughed. Now he was angry, the Comission was sabotaging his mission, and now this? Who smokes a fucking cigarette inside?

He watched her blow smoke out of her nose, and coughed once again.

"Oh, you don't like that I'm smoking?" Cha-Cha asked, fake concern in her eyes. "I could always stop, if you want?"

So she put out the cigarette. On his forearm.

He screamed.

Dark spots danced over his vision and white hot pain shot through his body, he suddenly became hyper aware of everything around him. He felt the rough fabric of his clothes wrapping around his body, he felt the hair on his back stand up, and he light wind that got in from the small window brush against his bare skin. He inhaled sharply, and he tried to pull away, ropes wouldn't let him. He felt the fresh flames dance against his skin, and burn it down. "Stop!"

Cha-Cha did anything but, and the cigarette made contact with his arm once again. He gasped.

Seeing his reaction, Cha-Cha pressed down even harder, and he felt his skin melt.

Tears sprang to his eyes. He was screaming pathetically now, and he was so close to teleporting away, but he couldn't. He had to do it for his family. Or maybe he physically couldn't do it.

When she finally stopped, he exhaled sharply. Tears were running down his cheek, but he didn't care.

"You aren't tough shit now, are you?" Cha-Cha forced his chin up. "Life lesson, kid: shut your mouth, but especially : Never piss me out." She hissed, and Five clenched his jaw stubbornly.

"Sorry." Said Five, looking Cha-Cha in the eye (he didn't have much of a choice though, as she was grabbing his chin hard), still panting. "Sorry, that I hurt your feelings."

He really should shut his mouth.

"You little shit." Cha-Cha punched him in the face with full force.

He felt her fist connect with his nose, and he heard a loud crunch. He felt something gush out of his nostrils, and the next moment, he could feel the taste of his blood. Fuck. It felt like a dull, throbbing but all-consuming _pain_. He felt his blood drip down his throat.

"You never learn, do you?" She gripped his shoulder, tightly."I told you to keep your mouth shut, didn't I?" She punched Five in the stomach.

He gasped for air, unable to breath for a moment. He wanted to curl on himself, but Cha-Cha's grip on his shoulder was strong, keeping him upwards.

She punched him once again, and god it hurt so much, he felt himself drifting off to sleep. His vision darkened.

Cha-Cha slapped him across the face, and he blinked. "You can't escape that easily."

His face stung, amd he felt like he might go blind from all the pain that was eating his body up.

He saw her smile evilly and dug her nails into the burns on his arms. Five bit his cheek, trying to keep in a scream, unseccessfully.

If she's gonna keep this up he'll have to teleport away, though at this point, when he was focusing on not fainting, he felt like he couldn't teleport if he wanted to.

Seeing his reaction, satisfied, she dug her nails deeper, and he screamed. Black spots danced over his vision, and he let out a scream.

That's when he heard the door open. He assumed it was Hazel first, but then he heard the gunshot. His ears rang.

He heard someone calling his name in the distance. "Five!"

Was that.. Diego?

The ringing stopped, and Five could hear footsteps behind him.

He saw Cha-Cha hurry towards the backdoor, and some lady followed her.

Diego grabbed his shoulder, and he was so glad he was here that he didn't even mind the pain that shot trough his body.

Diego's eyes scanned over his face and body, and he honestly looked like he might cry."Wha- are you.. what did she do to you?"

Five ignored him. That didn't matter now. Seeing his brother's face, felt relaxed. Relief washed over him, so overwhelmingly he couldn't breath for a moment.

Diego gently patted his face. "Hey, breath, you're okay, you're okay.." he murmured, and started to untie him.

As he looked down, Dego's expression twisted into an expression that was a mix of anger and sadness. "Oh my god.." he whispered. "I'm going to fucking kill her."

Five let out a quiet and humourless laugh. "Good luck with that."

Diego started to untie his legs.  


"I think you should go after your girlfriend." He breathed. "She's more dangerous than you'd think. I can take care of myself."

"Hey" Diego looked him in the eye. "I'm not leaving. Besides, Patch has like 5 officers with her, she's gonna be fine."

Five saw himself in Diego's chocolate brown eyes, and flinched slightly. His hair was drenched with sweat, he could feel the coldness of his wet locks brushing against his forehead. His face was a bloody mess, blood flowing out of his nose still, his skin painted with bruises and fresh blood. His eyes were red, and tears were making their way down his face. He was crying?

Five felt so vunerable and exposed at the sight of his own reflection, that he tried to pull away. Diego wouldn't let him, and tightened his grip. Five hissed, and looked away, embarassed. The pressure from his shoulders was gone, but he could still feel Diego's eyes in him.

"Five's not enough" he insisted, altough he felt like his words were melting into each other more and more. "I'm fine."

Diego raised his eyebrows. "Sure you are." He said sarcastically.

Five glared at him, because he was fine, or he'll be in a minute anyway, he just needed to get a grip and continue his mission. He tried to stand up, but as he did, his legs buckled under him, and he would have collapsed, if Diego hadn't caught him as fast as he did.

Five's world was spinning, he couldn't decide which was was up, or down, and he felt his hand shake. He brought up a hand to his head and felt warm liquid on his fingers. "I-I.." He couldn't finish his sentence, because another wave of dizyness washed over him, and his whole body gave out.  
  
  


Diego felt a touch on his shoulder, amd he startled awake. He looked up, just to see Patch staring at him. "Hey.." He rubbed his eyes.

Patch sat down on the chair next to him. "How is he?" She asked, her voice quiet, but filled with concern. He always loved her voice, it was so warm, and comforting.

Diego looked away. How was his brother? He had just been tied up and beaten senseless and.. and.. tortured.

"The doctors said he's gonna be okay." He sighed. "He has several cracked ribs, a broken nose, a minor head injury, c-cigarette burns on his arm.." his voice cracked, and he heard a quiet gasp from Patch. "He lost a lot of blood.. but he's going to be a-alright." He stuttered slightly, amd looked back at her.

Patch put a hand in his leg. "And are you? Going to be alright?"

Diego looked at the door that separated him from his unconscious brother.

Heremembered how he found him. That woman was towering over him threateningly., all he could see was the back of his chair, and his messy dark brown locks. And,  _oh god,_ his screams still echoed in his head, driving him crazy.

Then he saw him, the blood dripping from his nose, his bruised face and body, his ripped clothes, the cuts on his cheekbones and his melted, and still burning skin.

He has never seen Five in tears before this.

"It's not me who I'm concerned about."

Patch hummed in understanding. "Your siblings?"

"I called them, they left about 2 hours ago.. I-I couldn't leave.. besides, someone has to be there when he wakes up." Diego said. As he said that, he realised something. "What about the woman?"

"We got her. She's getting charged with a bunch of stuff, she's probably going to get at least 80 years at an extra secure prison." She explained.

Diego nodded. "Good."

Diego felt slightly better that justice has been served, but he still wasn't entirely satisfied. She deserved worse for hurting his brother.

"I shot her in the leg."

Diego laughed, for what felt like the first time in years. "That's my girl!"

Patch smiled playfully. "I'm not your girl."

Diego smirked. "You could be." He raised an eyebrow.

Someone behind him cleared his throat. "Mr. Hargreeves?"

Diego turned his head to look at the doctor. "Yes?"

"He's awake. You can see him now."

He looked at Patch. "Uh.."

Patch smiled reassuringly. "It's okay, I'll wait here."  
  


He opened the door to Five's room. And there he was, laying on the hospital bed, eyes barely open, but awake nevertheless.

He looked _awful_. His cuts were cleaned out, and his head was bandaged, and he didn't seem to be in any pain, but the bruises stood out harshly against his pale skin, and there were far too many of them for Diego to not be bothered by it.

"Hey" He waved awkwardly, and took a seat next to Five's bed.

Five raised an eyebrow. "Hey."

"How are you feeling?"

Five stared at him. "Like I've been run over by a van. Twice."

"Yeah you look like it, too, man." Diego said, without thinking.

"Gee, thanks." Five didn't seem to be offended. But when does he show emotions anyways? "What happened to Cha-Cha?"

Diego frowned. "Who?"

Five rolled his eyes. "The woman. What happened to her? Is that police woman alright?"

Diego blinked. "You've just been tortured and you worry about Patch?"

Diego felt like Five would have shrugged if his upper body allowed him to.

"She's fine. The woman- Cha-Cha? She's arrested. She won't be bothering you anymore."

Five hummed. "Wouldn't be so sure about that."

Diego stared at him. He didn't know how to answer to that. "Anyway.. Why didn't you teleport?"

There he goes, he said it. He's been wanting to know since he saw Five in that chair, screaming.

The look Five gave him made him want to grab the words, amd shove them back into his mouth, swallow them, despite all of their sharp edges.

"I had a plan." Five said simply. "Then you ruined it."

Diego scoffed. "I'm not gonna apologise for _saving_ you!"

Five looked away, but Diego wasn't done. "No, I'm done with your self-sacrificing bullshit, and don't you  _dare_ say that this is none of my bussiness, because you are my brother, and I'm worried about you!"

Five was still studying the wall of the hospital room, refusing to look at Diego.

"We can talk about it later, but, please, Five, for the love of God,  _talk_ to me!" He half-whispered.

 

 Five seemed to think for a moment, then nodded. "Okay."

"Thank you."

Silence fell over the room. Five seemed  to be comfortable with it, as he closed his eyes, and relaxed.

Diego smiled slightly. Five looked adorable this way. So peaceful and calm. He just wanted to wrap his little brother in a warm hug, but that would most likely end up with both of them getting hurt (Five would most likely kill him if he tried to hug him).

Diego didn't know why, but he put his hand on Five's. He was surprised when Five didn't slap it away.

So they sat that way for a while. Maybe it was just minutes, maybe hours, but the next thing he knew was that someone was knocking on the door.

The door opened, revealing Patch. "Hey" she said softly. "Sorry to interrupt, was just checking if everything's alright."

Diego stood up, sighing. He glanced at Five, who was looking at Patch with narrowed eyes.

"Five, this is Detective Eudora Patch, she arrested Cha-Cha. And Patch, this my brother, Five."

Five smiled at her tightly.

Patch walked up to him and shook his hand. "You can call me Eudora."

Diego gasped dramatically. " _I_ can't call you Eudora."

Patch looked at him with fake pity in her eyes. "It's only with people I like." She grimaced.

Diego laughed.

Patch turned back to Five. "We can.. uh you know, get you out of school for a while.."

Five blinked twice, than looked at Diego, like he was going to get up amd murder him in the next second. "You didn't tell her?" He hissed.

Diego, trying to keep in a laugh, and shook his head.

"You didn't tell me what?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

Diego waved dismissively. "It's nothing."

Oh, how he missed Five's glare.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So a few things: Five might seem a little ooc, but i needed him to talk back for the sake of the plot. About the cigarette burns, I researched it after I wrote this like the idiot I am, but apparently, they don't hurt that bad, but imagine that this cigarette has been freshly litten and it hurt like hell, okay? I thought cigarette burns cause my worst experiences with pain always came from some sort of burn so, here it is uwu
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you liked it! Feedback is always appreciated!! <3


End file.
